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Getting over a former crush

Published: 
Sunday, January 28, 2018

Many people may have been rejected by someone who they were in a relationship with and over time were able to get over the “crush” and move on with their lives. But some people get caught up in the games that the former crush may play with them.

Listed below are ten steps to avoid the games and get over the relationship.

1. Take time out to get over the hurt–crying really makes a big difference. You are never too big to cry. There is the theory that crying is healthy on an emotional, spiritual and physical level. During the crying session, try to get rid of all the hurt that you may have experienced in your life and afterwards you will feel exhausted but your mind will be cleansed. Some people take longer to get over the hurt, so don’t be afraid to seek out family and friends who will support you through the healing process.

2. Stay away from all the usual liming places because seeing the person may cause your emotions to overcome you either becoming angry or feeling the hurt that you are trying to heal.

3. Delete and block the former crush from your phone and social media accounts. That way you will not be tempted to answer the calls or text messages or checking out.

4. Eventually the time will come when you will have to interact with the former crush. Keep your confidence and stay calm. Ignore the person until you are spoken to first. Talk to the person but behave disinterested. Stick to short sentences and if you are teased, silence is golden. 

5. Keep busy. Don’t spend time thinking of what could have been or if only… Focus on your work or school work. Engage in an exercise routine at home or join a gym. Take on a new hobby or master an old one.

Stay focus on your well-being. Stay strong. You will be tempted to engage the former crush if they come into your space whether at your liming bars or a mutual friend’s house.

6. Take care of yourself. Don’t stop eating to look like a skeleton and don’t overeat to look like you have been binging. Eat regular healthy meals.

7. Don’t give in to getting revenge even if it gives you great pleasure because the reality is that revenge is short term and it will not help in getting over the person in the long term. Ignoring the former crush is always the sweetest revenge ever.

8. The goal is to view the former crush as being unimportant to your life. This takes patience and a period of time. Keep the person out of your life. Time heals all things. Focus on your own values and self-respect.

9. Don’t allow the former crush to work their way back into your life. They will interrupt your path to emotional recovery. If the former crush starts becoming a nuisance, ask the person to leave you alone and be direct in your approach.

10. Don’t focus on negative feelings from the past by replaying them over and over but most of all, don’t blame yourself. It will be difficult in the beginning but will hard work, you will be able to let go and practice new positive feelings. The past cannot be changed so why worry about what you could not change?

The above guidelines will assist in helping you to gradually heal and regain confidence. One day, you will look back on the relationship and find it amusing that you once cared so much about the former crush.

When you’re finally over the former crush for good, look for someone who will respect and care for you, rather than someone who will mistreat and try to demean you. Being happy is your right but its sweeter when you have the right person to share that happiness with.

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