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The way you parent is everyone’s business

Published: 
Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Imagine you employ professionals to determine the suitability of an area for construction of your home; they determine that it is 95 per cent unsuitable; they list all the reasons why and then you proceed to build the home anyway because you felt to and because this location was suitable to you and your family needs.

Or, you pay to do a make-up course but then ignore the teacher and apply the finishing powder first and end with the concealer. After all, society tells us to do what’s best for our family and to do what keeps us sane and makes us feel comfortable, correct?

Now imagine if after doing contrary to best practice you are left with less than desirable results, is it self-abuse to sit and do introspection and access why the results were the way they were and figure out what could have been improved upon? Is it self-abuse to reflect on what worked well and what didn’t work so well?

I am totally against mom-bloggers that seem to think the way we parent our kids is our business and ours alone. It is also a pet peeve of mine that we are advised to parent in a manner that’s best for our family and the way that keeps us sane.

Rather than trying to make what feels good work, how about if we aim to become a society that makes what works, feel good? And by work, I mean peer reviewed, factual type work, not your convenient definition.

We all know that there are advantages upon advantages of breast feeding, yet we share more videos telling moms it’s okay, just do what feels best, rather than sharing the contact information to Breast Feeding Association so that moms-to-be can seek counselling BEFORE they find themselves in difficulty.

Rather than sharing blogs that say it’s okay to lose our cool, how about we share articles that help us deal with the stress in a manner that’s healthy for all parties involved.

In the age where the number of likes determines your qualifications, I beg you, be careful what you consume and what you share. It may be comical to spend all your energy making fun of how difficult motherhood can be, but that mentality gets into your subconscious and is probably the very reason the difficult moments seem to be so magnified.

Social media is contributing more and more to divorces. Did you know the popular mom-bloggers all have insurance against their stuff? Ask yourself why. Why are we turning to these sources as our sole avenue for life advice? Is it because they tell us what we want to hear, ie “Life’s hard, just do the best you can”?
Please take a moment to share preventative parenting best practices—Breast Feeding Association, Family Life TT, Wholeness and Wellness Counselling, Centre for Human Development, Family Services, Another Eve, Elpis Center, Mama ToTo. I can use up my entire word count listing the number of great resources available to us that can show us in manageable ways to properly raise our families while bringing out the very best in us.

And please, stop the selfish and downright foolish way of thinking that it’s your child and that gives you the right to parent as you see fit. Unless you plan on banishing said child to a remote island, your child will contribute to the society in which my child lives, so yes, the way you parent is my business.

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